Teleports

 

Zeb Goertzel

                           September-November, 2000

 

 

 

 

Zeb was sleeping at bedtime.  Then Zoogie came while he was sleeping.  And Zoogie put his hand on Zeb.  And then teleported Zeb to the Zoogie house.

And then Zoogie went back to Zeb’s house, and made a copy of Zeb’s bedroom.  And then brought it back to his world.  And put Zeb in the copy of his bed in Zoogie world, to trick Zeb.

Then Zeb woke up, and the Zoogie gave him breakfast.  It was fried Froot Loops.  And Zeb yiked it.

But then, the Zoogies started to rumble.  And the whole world started to rumble.  And then the Zoogies started to pick up Zeb.  And then the Zoogies went on their special teleporter with Zeb, to Teleports. 

 

Except there was danger there from the Black Blob with four spikes on him!

 

Except, that was just a Pro Boss.  And there was a bad guy there.  The Zoogie said, “Stay out of this trouble!  Because it’s a very very scary guy.” 

So Zoogie used Zoogie Power and the attack bounced back to the Zoogie.  The Zoogie jumped over it and the guy started shooting at Zoogie.  Zoogie was hit and hurt.  But while Zoogie was doing that, Zeb was running past Zoogie, searching around with a littler Zoogie.  And they saw a giant thing, and they tried to open a doorlike thing, but then it started flashing, so they went very very far away, and it exploded.  The explosion hit them.  And the Zoogie they had left behind.  And that thing was a bomb, a giant bomb. 

And then, since the bomb exploded, Zeb went past the spot the bomb was at, into a teleporter.  And the teleporter brought him into a place where he saw an army of army ants.  Except they were giant metal ones.  They were shooting huge amounts of bullets. So Zoogie put a good shield on Zebbie.  But then, the ants started putting bombs on Zebbie and Zoogie.  So, Zoogie put a shield on himself and started powering up a shield for both of them.  And then BOOM!, the bomb exploded.  And then they found a little wall, behind the ants.  They snuck past the ants to find it.  And Zoogie bashed through it. 

And they saw a teleporter.  They went in it.  And then they saw a bunch of teleporters.  They constantly went through them.  And Zeb found his way to a different teleporter room – except Zoogie was still in the first teleporter room.  And then Zeb went to that teleporter. 

Zoogie found his way to the room Zeb was in.  And then they saw a giant hammer guy

 

Chapter Two

Alternate Battle

 

 

The giant hammer guy started kicking him and shooting him and then he started hammering him.  And then he got some nails and started trying to get the nails into him. 

And Zoogie said, “Zeb, will you give me all of your energy?”

“No,” said Zeb.

“Will you give me a lot of your good powers?” asked Zeb.

Zoogie said “Yes.”

So Zoogie gave Zeb some powers. 

And Zeb and Zoogie started using Zoogie Power.   Zeb was surprised that he was using Zoogie Power, because Zeb was actually a human, and Zeb was very scared.  So Zeb put up a big shield around him. 

And a nail hit through both of them – one nail.  And they started crying.  They sat down in one spot to do that.

And they cried even louder – until they cried so loud that the hammer guy exploded.  And they saw something at the spot they were at.  It was a teleporter! 

They went through it.  They saw a spike guy.  And they just took the spikes off the spike guy and the spike guy died.

But then they wanted to go to the more interesting parts of this world.  So Zeb said, “Well, can we go to a more interesting place?” 

But Zoogie said, “But I thought this part of the world was already interesting to you.”

So Zoogie went to a little path in Teleports.  And it was constant teleporters – wherever they walked, they had to go in a teleporter to get to a different point.  It was a very difficult path. 

They went through the first teleporter.  And then they saw a giant frog.

 

Chapter Three

Giant Frog Battle

 

 

They got swallowed by the giant frog.  And they saw a giant octopus in there.  The octopus wrapped them up and threw them away, far away.

And they said, “Waaah!  Waaah!  We got hurt.”

So Zeb said, “Hey, I’ve got an idea, what’s that thing over there.”

And then they said, “What’s that thing?  It looks like a Justin Boob!”

And then it splattered milk at them and it made a flood.  And they started drinking it all.  But Zeb got reminded of the milk he used to drink.  And then the giant tit-thing said, “Hey, I know where a time machine is!  It can’t go back in time, it can only go forward….”

And they went 4ward in time.  Except they went too far forward, and Zeb was dead in that time.  So Zoogie decided to change the future. 

Zoogie went back in time with a different time machine that Zoogie had at that time.

And Zeb said, “P.U.!  That was extremely annoying being dead!”

And they saw a giant trampoline-thing.  It was the froggy’s heart.  They bounced on it.  Then the went off and went down, back out through the asshole.  And then they saw some poop.  And Zoogie put the poop on the froggy’s tail. 

The froggy turned around and tried to swallow them again.  But Zoogie picked everyone up and went through a teleporter again.   And they were back at that difficult maze of teleporters again!! 

And they went through another teleporter, and then they went through another teleporter, and Zoogie said, “I’m tired of all these teleporters.”  So Zoogie flew over a lot of them. 

But then there was a very strong wind-thing.  And they were pulled down to a strange dark scary cave. 

 

Chapter Four

Level One

 

 

 

In the cave, Zeb said “Don’t you think we’re going to die in here?”

Zoogie said, “I don’t care.”

And Zeb said, “Should we actually go to that teleporter I see?

Zoogie said, “I don’t care.”

So Zeb said, “Stop saying ‘I don’t care’!”

Zoogie said, “I don’t care.”

So Zeb said, “OK, I’m gonna kill you!”

Zoogie said, “I don’t care.”

And Zeb said, “OK, I’m gonna shoot you now.”  And Zeb got out a machine gun.

And Zoogie used Zoogie Power.   And Zoogie said, “I don’t care.”

So Zeb just went on the teleporter.

And Zoogie said “I don’t care” for five more hours.   Then he stopped and followed Zeb again.

And Zeb was out of the cave.  And Zeb saw Zar. 

Zar said, “Hey!  Have you ever been to Teleportopia?”

And Zar said, “Follow me!”   But when Zar tried to get there, he saw a horrible beast. 

And the beast said, “No! You’re not going to go to Teleportopia, because I destroyed it.”

And Zeb used Zoogie Power, but it didn’t work. 

And then Zeb used Human Power.  But it didn’t work.

And Zeb said, “I don’t care if you destroyed it.  All I want to do is get back home.”

And Zoogie said, “No, I did you bring you out of your normal world….  I just wanted to see what humans were like.”

And then there was a piggy who said “Oink, oink!  I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.”  And the pig started splattering mud all over.  And while the pig was splattering, it was so big that it didn’t notice them running past him. 

 

Chapter Five

School Time

 

 

Zoogie brought Zeb back to school.  It was bedtime.  Zoogie brought Zeb to home instead of school, then.

The next school day, Zeb put Zoogie in his backpack.  And at show and tell time, Zeb was missing Zoogie!  And then he saw Zoogie run back into the room.  Right they were about to give up on his show and tell turn.

Zeb said, “This is my giant invention!”  Then he said to Zoogie, “Will you teach them a little bit about Zoogie?”

And Zoogie said, “Hey, I’m from a different universe.  I never saw very much humans before.  I think I’ll have to be a little more careful on this Earth planet.”

So the teacher said, “Good show and tell!  Can we keep him out for a while?”

And they spent the rest of the day in recess with Zoogie.  And Zeb had just the kind of school day he wanted, if he had any school days.  And the other kids had a better school day.

And the school day ended.

Zeb showed Zoogie to Ben and Gwen and Zar, and they said “We do not need a cage for this pet!” 

And Zoogie stayed with them for a while. And one day Zoogie said, “I have to leave.  There’s trouble at my world.”

But Zade and Zar and Ben and Gwen said, “But we want to come see the world.”

 

Chapter 6

Zadie Gets Lost

 

 

So Zeb said, “Follow me, guys.  But don’t get lost.  Because, I’ve been here before.”

But they said, “I don’t think you’re right.  You were just sleeping, all that whole night.”

And Zoogie said, “I made a copy of Zeb that night.  And took the real Zeb to the Zoogie World.”

And they said, “We still don’t believe you.”

So everyone went with Zebbie.  And Zadie was really trying her hardest to follow them.  But Zade just couldn’t follow them.  She got lost.

And Zade sat down and started crying. 

But then Zade saw little Zoogie say “Don’t be sad.  What’s wrong?”

And Zade said, “I lost everyone.”

And the Zoogie said, “Well, I know you like Mickey Mouse.  I’ll dress up in a Minnie Mouse suit.”

And Zade said, “Will you help me find Ben and Gwen?”

And Zoogie said, “OK.  I’ll stay with you and fight everyone who’s scary.”

Meanwhile, Zeb snuck off, and everyone was going on by themselves. 

And everyone split up to find Zadie and Zebbie.  But they couldn’t find any of them. 

And meanwhile, Zade saw a button, but it was hard to push, so Zoogie pressed it.   And the metal bars opened.  And they went through the door that was behind this metal bar.  And then they saw a giant guy, who was about to shoot a huge amount of fire and kill Zade.  And then the Zoogie defended Zade.  Zade was hurt but not dead.  And Zoogie said, “You can’t hurt Zade!  I’ll hurt you and make you die!”

And Zade was crying, of course.  So Zoogie put a very very very good shield on Zade, because Zade was little.

And Zoogie used Kayo Cannon Time Beam Cannon and knocked out the giant guy.

And Zade jumped up and down and started laughing instead of crying.   She was very very very happy.

And then, they saw Zar fall down and bump his head.  And Zade said, “Zarrr!  Will you help me find Ben?”  

And then they saw Zeb.

And then Zeb said, “Ha!  I already killed that guy!”

And Zade said “Yay, yah!  I have a lot of people with me now!” 

And then Ben and Gwen fell down from the middle of the air and said “Ouch!  That really hurts!  I didn’t know how dangerous this place was.”

But while that was happening, Zadie left. 

 

Chapter 7

Zade Gets the Money

 

 

Then Zoogie brought Zeb to Laboratory Scientist Center.  And Zeb was turned into an android, with two giant swords in each hand. 

Zeb had so much hair – there was a lot in the middle, but then there were two little spike shapes in his hair, that were the highest parts of his hair.

Android Android went out looking for Zade.  And Zeb (Android Android) found Zade being swallowed by a bunch of money.  And Zeb saw Zoogie trying to pull Zade out.

And the Zoogie was just pulled in, with the money.  So Zeb dove in the mouth too, and then they started taking away all the money from the money creature from the inside.  And then Zade seemed to get the most of the money.  And Zeb and everyone else gave all the money to Zade.

Zeb said, “Hey Zade… do I look uglier, or better?”

Zade said, “You look funnier!”

Then they saw Santa Claus saying, “Ho ho ho!  I’d better kill everyone before they kill me!  Ho ho ho!  I just love going around killing everyone!”

And the money creature was gone. 

Santa Claus landed on Zeb’s head.  And Zeb picked Santa Claus up with a sword and threw Santa Claus and his stuff way up high in the sky.

Except, Evil Zade was planning a plan to destroy Good Zade.

And then the Crazy Scientist came over.  Except, they usually call him the Crazy Crazy Crazy Scientist.

And the Super Duper Silly Scientist said, “Yeah, yeah, that was just a joooke calling him the Crazy Scientist! Ha ha ha!  He’s really the Crazy Crazy Crazy Crazy Scientist!!”

And the Crazy Scientist started jumping up and down saying “Oh boy oh boy!  I’m crazy!  I’m crazy!  Oh boy!  Oh boy!  I’m so happy!  Oh boy!  Oh boy!  Oh boy!”

And then he started rolling around on the floor, farting.  And then, by mistake, he farted on Evil Zade, because Evil Zade was spying on them.  And then Zeb noticed, and Zeb went out to attack.  Then Zeb didn’t see anything.  Then he tried to go back, but he didn’t see anyone anywhere.  Because he thought that he might have been in No Thing Land.  And he was in No Thing Land.  So all he saw was no things, he didn’t even notice himself. 

And then he saw a Jack Ass Penguin, and the Jack Ass Penguin said, “Didn’t you know that only Jack Ass Penguins can live here without being bothered?  Because, it’s not No Thing Land, it’s Iceland, didn’t you know what it was called?  Because, it’s totally white out there!  And this is called JackassLand!”  

Then he said, “Now this is called NothingLand!”

And then Zeb thought to himself that this might be the Crazy Scientist dressed up in a Jack Ass Penguin suit.  And Zeb said, “Wait a minute… I think you’re actually not a Jack Ass Penguin. You’re a scientist – a crazy one!”

And the Crazy Scientist said, “Yup yup yup, you got my joke right, ha ha ha.  You answered the question – except, you didn’t say the true thing, but you answered the question, ha ha ha.  The answer is, I am the Super Duper Silly Scientist!”

And Zeb said, “You shouldn’t have dooded that.”

And the Super Duper Silly Scientist said, “That nonsense!”

And then they started having a big conversation about whose ass was the biggest. 

The Super Duper Silly Scientist said, “Yeah, look at my ass.  It’s always growing.”

Zeb said, “Yeah, look at mine.  It’s always staying the same.  Isn’t that better?  And, mine grows, see it?  It just grew.  Now it just shrunk.”

And then they noticed something was following them.

It was a real Jack Ass Penguin.   And he said, “Hey, look at my big ass!  It’s more of a Jack Ass.  Ha ha.  I’ve got the better ass, but you’ve got the bigger, but I’ve got the better.  You stink with your big asses.  I rule with my Jack Ass.”

And then Jack Ass Penguin made his ass even more of a Jack Ass. 

And they said, “No fair!  We want Jack Asses.”

“Sorry, you’re not a Jack Ass penguin,” said the penguin.   “So there!  If you think that’s not fair, it is fair!  Just kidding – ha ha ha ha ha.  It’s not fair.” 

And he said, “OK.  Well then look how many more Jack Ass Penguins are here.”

And then, in that moment, they saw a million Jack Ass Penguins sticking their asses at everyone.  And one of the penguins was just dancing around doing all sorts of funny things and crazy things too, knocking down all the penguins. And it was a Crazy Scientist, in a Jack Ass Penguin suit.

And Zeb said, “Ahhhh…  Now I’ve got the perfect ass plan.   I’ll steal an ass!”

But the Jack Ass Penguins kept pooping on Zeb, when he tried.   And, their asses were stuck on too hard. 

And then they saw some Jack Dick penguins jump down.  And then he saw some Jack Tit and some Jack Vagina penguins and Zeb tried to steal their parts but he couldn’t.  

And then Zeb started attacking everyone, starting a war for fun.  And Zeb was getting hurt from all the poop and milk.  So Zeb said, “Stop this war!!  I give up!!  I surrender!!”

And then Zeb started sleeping.  And he was brought to Dreamland.   And in Dreamland, he saw 69 giant pigs dancing up and down.  And one of them landed on him.  And Zeb said, “come on you stupid old moronic pigs.  Stop this!!  I hate you dancing all over.  There’s too much of you stupid pigs!!”

So the pigs turned into one big pig.

Then Zeb said, “OK, then just get rid of yourselves.” 

So they got rid of themselves, then they stopped getting rid of themselves, and they were back. 

And the pigs said, “We got rid of ourselves.”

“But not for long,” said Zeb.  “Stay there forever.”

And the pigs left forever.

 

 

Chapter 8

Dreamland

 

 

And then Zeb said, “I think I have the sense of more androids, except they seem to be evil.”

And Zeb said, “I’d better get searching.”  Except by  mistake, Zeb said, “I’m not in Dreamland.  I’m in Dreamland Dreamland, that’s where I really am.. In this place, dreams have their opposite happening.”

So Zeb left and went to Dreamland.  But Zeb seemed to see that the Evil Scientist was dancing around, saying “La la la la.  I’m lovely … no I’m evil … no I’m evil… no I’m lovely.”

And the Evil Scientist said, “I’m lovely!  Will you kiss me?  Will you kiss me?  I’m lovely!”

And then Zeb said, “Come on.  You’re not actually lovely.  You’re evil.  Look at that tribe of androids you have.”

The Evil Scientist said, “Come on, they’re just my giant dolls…..  Go, dolls!” 

And the dolls started moving around saying, “Must Destroy!  Must Destroy!”

And Zeb said, “I think this guy’s starting to take control of Dreamland.” 

And then androids shot a bunch of giant kisses at Zeb.  Zeb said, “Come on!!”  And then Zeb fell asleep from the kisses.  And Zeb went to Dreamland Dreamland Dreamland.

And then Zeb went to bed in Dreamland Dreamland Dreamland.

And he found himself in Dreamland Dreamland Dreamland Dreamland.

And Zeb said, “Now where am I?  Oh, I know.  This is the androids’ dreams.  And their dreams are of nothing existing!!”  And then Zeb was dead.

And then Zade said, “Zeb!  Where are you hiding?  Play hide and seek easier.”

So Zeb played hide and seek easier.  Because Zeb found himself on top of Zade and not dead anymore. 

And Zeb said, “Zade!  How did I get home?  I wanted to be at the fun place.”

And then Zeb said, “Look at me.  I shouldn’t be going around on Earth looking like this.  I look like an android right here.”

Then Zade said, “I want to spend my money.  Will you carry me to Toys R US.”

Zeb said, “OK?”

Zade bought the whole planet Earth with all that money she got. 

And Zade said, “Everyone should live in a giant house,” so everyone made a giant house.  After five years it was finished.

And Zade said, “Everyone make a big garden and then do what you want – but no bad guys.”

And they did just what they said – all the bad guys started being good.

And they built a giant garden.

And then Zade said, “I still have half my money left….  But I will save it for later.”

 

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 

 

 

Then it started raining money, and Zade seemed to get all the money again.

 

And then Zade got Elmer and the Time Machine Dragon, and Zeb got up to Chapter 9 in one day. 

 

And then Zeb went upstairs on the third floor in his house.  And Zeb played Starcraft for five hours. 

 

And then Zeb played for 99 more hours.  But Zeb said, “I couldn’t even hurt any of my enemies!  I need practice.”

 

And Zeb practiced from battling Zergs in real life.  And Protoss.  And Terrans.  

 

And Zeb beat the whole game in one nanosecond, because of the real practice.

 

And Zeb yiked that game.  So Zeb started dancing around on Halloween, destroying all the houses and stealing all the candy.

 

Zeb said, “I got up to Chapter 9 of destroying houses!”

 

And then Zeb got up to Chapter 9 of pulling his dick off.  And Zeb said, “I’m getting up to Chapter 9 of doing stuff that I get up to Chapter 9 in!”

 

And then Zeb went to Chapter 9 of music lessons.  And then Zeb got up to Chapter 9 of stealing Ben’s glasses.  But then Zeb gave up that Chapter 9.

 

And Zeb said “Gwen, did I do Chapter 9 of Chapter 9 things?”

 

And Gwen said, “Nope.  You did Chapter 9 of nothing!”

 

“No I didn’t,” said Zeb.

 

“Land,” said Gwen.   “Nothingland!!”

 

“Ha ha ha… just joking,” said Gwen.

 

And then Zade said, “Will you play with my pet Zoogie?  He’s playing ball but he’s playing too hard.  You know how to play good.”

 

But then Gwen and Ben just remembered what Zeb looked like.  Zeb looked like an android with two swords and two spikes of hair.

 

And then they said, “Zeb!  We forgot what you looked like. Now you’re not a kid anymore, you’re our dad and mom put together!”

 

And then Zeb said, “Am I in charge of this family?”

 

“Of course, you’re in charge of all the money.  Because look right there, you can make money.”

 

But then Zeb said, “Nah.  I’d rather have Zadie in charge of the money.”

 

And Zeb let Zade be in charge of the money, because she had so much money left. 

 

And soon Zade bought the whole universe that they were in.

 

And then Zade said, “But I don’t have a lot of money anymore.”

 

“Yes you do,” Zeb.  “Look right there, in the bag behind you.  You still have more.  You have enough for five new universes.”

 

So Zade bought five universes, and they each had a planet good for humans to live on.  So some people lived on the other planets, and some stayed on Earth. 

 

But then one day, every possible universe anywhere started to start breaking.  And there was one universe that only had a tiny crack – Zoogie’s universe.  Then Zoogie said, “I better stop all this.  I know who’s causing this.  The giant DickMaster!”

 

And Zade said, “That is nonsense.”

 

And Zade said, “OK everyone, start fixing!  Oopsie.  Only creatures strong enough.”

 

And soon, giant DickMaster’s pee-pee splattered all over.  Because one of the Zoogies was attacking instead of building.  And then Zeb said, “Hey!  I did Chapter 9 of telling Zade to be the leader of all the money.  Ha ahhahah hahah.”

 

 

Chapter 10

Dead Zeb

 

 

And then  Zeb saw a giant raccoon bouncing on the planet Earth just after he laughed.

 

And soon the Earth was crushed.  So Zeb went up to that giant raccoon and said, “OK, I’m going to kill you.  I’ve got two giant swords, I can chop you up.”

 

And then the raccoon, just in that nanosecond, ate Zeb up.

 

Zeb was DEAD.

 

And Zoogie said “yee haw!  Yee haw!”, and Zoogie decided to get crunched up.

 

So Zoogie said “Will you crunch me up?” 

 

And the raccoon said “No way!”  I just do stuff that someone does NOT want me to do.

 

And then Zoogie said “No fair!”  And meanwhile, Zade was on top of the raccoon.  And Zade went inside of his ear, and all the way inside the hole, because he was giant, so he could fit.

 

And in the ear, she saw an eardrum.  She started playing music on the eardrum.  Because it was an eardrum.  And Zade thought it was a drum.

 

And Zade broke it by mistake.  And soon Zade went back out and saw a Hinna.  And the Hinna said, “Hello.  Hello. Hello.  I help people.  When I touch them, they stop being hurt.”

 

And then the raccoon ate up Zoogie.

 

And Zade was hurt, because he had to chase Zoogie to get him.  Soon Zade fell out of the raccoon’s ear.

 

And Zade said, “Hinna, make me better!”

 

And the Hinna touched Zade, and Zade was all better. 

 

And then Zeb Number 2 said “Hello raccoon.”

 

And the raccoon ate up Zeb 2.

 

And Zeb 2 was dead.

 

And then Zeb 3 and Zeb 4 came and said “hello, raccoon.”

 

And he ate up Zeb 3 and Zeb 4.  And they were both dead.

 

And then Zeb negative 1 came and ate up the raccoons.

 

And then there was a giant who ate up the whole story!  And then a different Zoogie said, “Oh, you meanie!  You ate up the story I printed out of the computer.”

 

And then Ben said “This is just a story.  I’m typing it on the computer.”

 

And then Zeb seemed to be alive, sitting in a chair, telling Ben a story called Teleports.  And Ben was typing it in, on the laptop.  And Tom and Zar were playing on the Nintendo.  And Zade was in the Hinna – the raccoon’s Hinna, in the exploded world.

 

But Zeb was dead in that world, and there seemed to be a real-life Zeb and a dead Zeb. 

 

 

Chapter 11

Explosion of Water

 

   

And then the real live Zeb went to the dead Zeb world.  Except that Zeb was still living.  The real live Zeb and the dead Zeb were both in the same place, but living.

 

And then, soon, he saw dead evil Zade.  And then they ripped her heart out.  And ripped her heart up.  And then out, instead of blood, came water explosions!

 

And Zeb drowned.  And then Zoogie came and saved them, by giving Zeb a silver scale. 

 

And then they saw a little froggy creature, that looked like a frog, but it looked sort of like a fly too.  And it looked like a giant evil Mickey Mouse.

And they saw that he looked sort of like a Zoogie too.  And he looked sort of like a human. 

 

 

Chapter –1

The Battle Begins

 

And it stuck its giant tail out at them.  And he got a second tail.  And soon, Zeb and Zoogie were all gone and dead.  He ate them with his tail.

 

And then, a baby Zoogie came along and said “Daddy Zoogie die, ha ha ha ha.  Baby Zoogies are living, ha ha ha ha.”

 

And then the baby Zoogie thought the frog was dead, so the frog was dead. 

 

 

Back to Chapter 11

 

 

And then Zoogie saw this glowing ball of light in the sky soon.  And Zoogie went up and touched it and brought it down to Zeb, and Zeb touched it, and Zeb licked it, and threw it, and Zeb even tasted it.

 

But then, soon, they found themselves in a place where they saw someone called The Scientist. 

 

The Scientist said “Hello, hello, you’re crazy and I’m not, hahahaha ha ha.”

 

And then he started screaming and pooping on top of Zeb’s butt.  Then he said, “I’ve got a time machine, and I want you to go in it.” 

 

So Zeb just appeared in side of the time machine.

 

And, it wasn’t really being a time machine.  It seemed to be a maze machine.  And they were brought to this really really really really really hard maze. 

 

They saw one button.  They pressed it.  But then they saw five more.  So they decided to just pick one.  They picked the middle one.  And then they saw someone, and he said “You must go through the hell machine!  And then Zeb said ‘all right’ and he found himself inside of a hell machine.  But he didn’t find himself in hell.  He found himself back at this place where he saw the five buttons.  So he pressed another one.    And he found himself on top of a giant dick.  But then he found himself on top of a giant poop.  Then he found himself in front of a little cute Zoogie.  And the cute Zoogie said, “Follow me!  You have to do a race to get out.”

 

And then he said “You have to win the race.  Not just do it.  Win it.” 

 

And then Zeb said, “I’m going back in time.”

 

 

Chapter –89

No Exist

 

Zeb went back in time.  Riding on Zoogie’s back.  And Zeb said, “Go farther back in time!  Go even farther and farther and farther and farther.  Go farther back in time, again!  Go even farther!”

 

But soon, Zeb stopped existing, and Zoogie did too.

 

No one existed.

 

And Zeb was stuck there being dead.  Because, Zeb wasn’t living, to go forward in time again.  He couldn’t. 

 

And then everyone else in the universe went back in time.

 

And they didn’t exist either. 

 

 

Chapter –88

Slimeland

 

 

And then Zeb was hardly living. 

 

Because, some strange creature was living, and it brought everyone a little bit forward in time, to when they were living.

 

And Zeb was just blue, black and gray slime.  Just like everyone else was.  And then that creature brought them so far forward in time that they were dead.

 

And then he brought them back to the exact time before Zeb wanted to go.  Except, that time seemed to be different – Zeb didn’t want to go back in time anymore.

 

And then Zeb said, “I want to go back to Chapter 9!”  So Zoogie brought Zeb back to Chapter 9. 

 

 

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 

 

 

Then it started raining money, and Zade seemed to get all the money again.

 

And then Zade got Elmer and the Time Machine Dragon, and Zeb got up to Chapter 9 in one day. 

 

And then Zeb went upstairs on the third floor in his house.  And Zeb played Starcraft for five hours. 

 

And then Zeb played for 99 more hours.  But Zeb said, “I couldn’t even hurt any of my enemies!  I need practice.”

 

And Zeb practiced from battling Zergs in real life.  And Protoss.  And Terrans.  

 

And Zeb beat the whole game in one nanosecond, because of the real practice.

 

And Zeb yiked that game.  So Zeb started dancing around on Halloween, destroying all the houses and stealing all the candy.

 

Zeb said, “I got up to Chapter 9 of destroying houses!”

 

And then Zeb got up to Chapter 9 of pulling his dick off.  And Zeb said, “I’m getting up to Chapter 9 of doing stuff that I get up to Chapter 9 in!”

 

And then Zeb went to Chapter 9 of music lessons.  And then Zeb got up to Chapter 9 of stealing Ben’s glasses.  But then Zeb gave up that Chapter 9.

 

And Zeb said “Gwen, did I do Chapter 9 of Chapter 9 things?”

 

And Gwen said, “Nope.  You did Chapter 9 of nothing!”

 

“No I didn’t,” said Zeb.

 

“Land,” said Gwen.   “Nothingland!!”

 

“Ha ha ha… just joking,” said Gwen.

 

And then Zade said, “Will you play with my pet Zoogie?  He’s playing ball but he’s playing too hard.  You know how to play good.”

 

But then Gwen and Ben just remembered what Zeb looked like.  Zeb looked like an android with two swords and two spikes of hair.

 

And then they said, “Zeb!  We forgot what you looked like. Now you’re not a kid anymore, you’re our dad and mom put together!”

 

And then Zeb said, “Am I in charge of this family?”

 

“Of course, you’re in charge of all the money.  Because look right there, you can make money.”

 

But then Zeb said, “Nah.  I’d rather have Zadie in charge of the money.”

 

And Zeb let Zade be in charge of the money, because she had so much money left. 

 

And soon Zade bought the whole universe that they were in.

 

And then Zade said, “But I don’t have a lot of money anymore.”

 

“Yes you do,” Zeb.  “Look right there, in the bag behind you.  You still have more.  You have enough for five new universes.”

 

So Zade bought five universes, and they each had a planet good for humans to live on.  So some people lived on the other planets, and some stayed on Earth. 

 

But then one day, every possible universe anywhere started to start breaking.  And there was one universe that only had a tiny crack – Zoogie’s universe.  Then Zoogie said, “I better stop all this.  I know who’s causing this.  The giant DickMaster!”

 

And Zade said, “That is nonsense.”

 

And Zade said, “OK everyone, start fixing!  Oopsie.  Only creatures strong enough.”

 

And soon, giant DickMaster’s pee-pee splattered all over.  Because one of the Zoogies was attacking instead of building.  And then Zeb said, “Hey!  I did Chapter 9 of telling Zade to be the leader of all the money.  Ha ahhahah hahah.”

 

And then Zeb went forward in time after that.

 

 

Chapter 12

Calvin and Hobbes

 

 

Then Zeb saw Calvin in the garden dancing around singing a funny song.  Then Calvin went in and mom said “Bath time!  You get special bubbles!”

And once Calvin saw the bubbles he said, “Mom, you’re trying to kill me!!  That’s too hot!!  Bubbles are from cooking stuff very hot!!”

 

And the Zoogie said, “OK, well look here, dive in the bath.”  And Zoogie just plopped Calvin in.  It was cooking but it didn’t have bubbles. 

 

“Now I told you, you need to go to school,” said his mom.

 

And Calvin said, “School’s a stupid place where you get spanked on the butt.  And the teachers scream and yell at you to do 1+1.  And that’s too easy – it’s 49.”

 

And his mom said, “No… it’s two.”

 

And then Calvin started reading the book called “Calvin and Hobbes.”   And then he started reading “Calvin and Hobbits.”

 

And then the hobbits started singing a song that they forgot who made up.  “The dwarves of your made mighty spells.  When hammers fell like ringing bells.  In places deep, where dark things sleep, and I just died, beep beep beep beep.”

 

And Calvin said, “Mom?  Will you get me more of these books?  I want more Calvin and Hobbes books.”

 

Then mom said, “Hmmm … maybe when you’re so old that you’re about to die.”

 

And Zeb said, “Calvin.  You talk silly talk.”

 

“You shouldn’t have dooded that,” said Calvin.

 

And then, Zeb said “You shouldn’t have talked that way.”

 

And then Calvin’s mom said, “You two!  You’re just talking nonsense.””

 

And then Zeb said “You shouldn’t have saided that.”

 

And then Zeb said, “So you are a badded person.  Zoogie, take me back to my butt!”

 

And Zoogie brought Zeb inside of his own butt.  But Zeb was gone from being inside of his own butt, just as if he had eaten himself.

 

And then Zeb un-ate himself.  And then Zeb said, “I want to un-eat my jelf.  I want to do that on a shelf.”

 

Then Zoogie brought Zeb to a place called “Real Life and Mixed.”  And there, Zeb was on a train with a Zane.  And Zane had a pain in his brain.  And he forgot to bring his brain when he took it off.  And he left it on the train when they got off.  And that was such a pain. 

 

 

Chapter 13

Zane is Being a Big Pain

 

 

Then Zeb said, “Zoogie, bring me to that train!”   And Zoogie brought Zeb on top of the train.  Zane had a really bad pain in his brain.  So Zane took it out. 

 

And then they got off.  And they went a billion miles away, to the place called “Dynamics using Probabilistic Grammar.” 

 

 

 

Chapter 14

Dynamics using Probabilistic Grammar

 

And then they saw Ben on the computer.  And Ben was working.  And they saw something that said “Dynamics using Probabilistic Grammar.” 

 

And they said, “Ben.  Stop doing that.  You’re too funny!” 

 

And then, Zoogie was on the computer, and went to that place.  Everyone in the whole wide world did that! 

 

 

Chapter 15

Zane is Being a Little Pain

 

 

And then they went back to Zane’s brain.  And Zane pooped on it.  And then Zane put it back in.   And he had a poopy-brain, so he said “Waah.”

 

And then he said, “Rettal pore.”

 

And he liked the rettal pore.  And then he saw a baby rettal pore.  He loved playing with the baby rettal pores.  But then someone came and said “Zane, leave the rettal pores!  They are dangerous!” 

 

And Zane left it, and it started reaching for Zane, saying “Daddy Rettal.”  

 

Zane came back and ate with him.  And the rettal pore said “Dada Rettal.  I like you.” 

 

But then Zane said “Waaah.  I do not like you.”

 

And Zane left rettal pore.

 

And Zeb said, “Guys, hurry up.  Look at this blue-red hole.  It looks like it must be sucking something into it.”

 

It’s sucking this universe into it. 

 

And then soon, Zane, the rettal pore, Ben and Zeb were sucked into it.  And then Zoogie was trying his hardest not to get sucked in.  But then soon, the rest of the universe was gone, except for Zoogie.  But then, Zoogie was finally caught. 

 

And it kept getting smaller and smaller in there.  Except soon, they were all bunched up and squeezed. 

 

But then, it got even bigger than it was before.    And then, they were sucked into a little string. 

 

 

Chapter 16

String Knots

 

 

And then soon the string they were in was getting tied up.  And soon Zeb was tied in a knot, Zoogie was tied in a knot, rettal pore was tied in a knot, and Zane was tied in a knot, and Ben was tied in a knot.

 

And they were getting squeezed to death.  And soon they were all dead.  The end of the book Zebby was reading.  He was reading the book “Teleports,” while getting squeezed to death from the knots he was in.

 

And Zeb said, “Hey!  Maybe this book might actually be true, since I’m at the same place getting tied up.”  

 

Then Zeb said, “I’ve got a plan!  Untie the knot.”

 

But then, Ben said, “It’s too big.  These knots are much bigger than us.”

 

And then Zoogie said, “Yes we can.  Look.  We just need something sharp like a pin.  Because, we are actually inside giant balloons.  We need to pop the balloons.”

 

And then Ben said, “Well, I’ve got a pocketknife.”  Ben got the pocketknife out of his pocket, and he got out one of the knives in it, and used it to cut a hole in the balloon.  And then it popped that one and they were blown high in the sky.

 

And they landed on a cloud.  And Zeb said, “Let’s taste it.”  Zeb took a big bite.  And it was yummy!  It tasted like cotton candy. 

 

Zeb said, “Guys, you’ve got to try this!  It’s not clouds, it’s cotton candy!”  And then they started eating.  Then it started raining.  And they were catching food instead of rain.  A giant pancake landed on them; they needed to help each other eating it.  And soon they built a house in the sky, with the food and the clouds.  And they lived in it, and had a very good time. 

 

But then one day, Zeb was playing outside, and he fell.  And he fell onto Satan’s back.  And Zeb said, “We must be in hell.  How did we get to hell without dying?”

 

And then Satan said, “Who dares to come to hell, without being turned into my army of devils??!!”

 

Then everyone else fell down.  Zeb jumped into the lava with everyone else, and they started sinking. 

 

 

Chapter 17

Hell

 

 

And soon they were sinking very very very very far.  And they found themselves much higher than hell.

 

Then they fell down in hell. 

 

On Satan’s head. 

 

And into his nostrils, and then out his nostrils, and onto a rock made out of lava, and then Zeb said “This place is useless.  All it is, is stupid old lava wherever you go.  Can I go somewhere else?”

 

And Satan said, “No.”

 

And Zeb said, “Yes.”

 

Satan said “No.”

 

Zeb said “Yes.”

 

Satan said “No.”

 

Zeb said “Yes.”

 

 

Chapter 18

Will You Make the Chapters Shorter

 

 


And then Zeb said, “Make these chapters shorter!”

 

And Satan said, “What is a chapter?”

 

And Zeb said, “A chapter is, a chapter.”

 

And Satan said, “Tell me the truth!”

 

“I already did,” said Zeb.

 

Chapter 18

More Chapter 18

 

 

Then Satan said, “Tell me a more clear way.”

 

And Zeb said, “ I did.   The real way is, ‘a chapter is a chapter.’”

 

And Satan said, “OK, let’s get up for a little lesson.”

 

And Satan shot fifty-nine lava balls at Zeb.  And Zeb used eight rettal balls, and then Satan took out his balls from his dick and made them fiery.  And threw them at Zeb.   And Zeb said, “Waaah!  Mama!  Get me a bandaid!   He hurt me!”

 

And Gwen came with a bandaid and put it on Zebbie.

 

And then Gwen said, “Zeb, don’t fight anymore.  I will fight Satan.”

 

And Gwen touched Satan, and she was really really really hurt.   But Satan was dead.  

 

And Gwen said, “Zeb!  I don’t think you should be here right now. 

 

And Zeb said, “Yes I should be here.”

 

And Gwen said, “No, you should never be here.  It’s just stupid.”

 

And Zeb said, “I have to help Zoogie save the world!”

 

And then Zoogie said, “But I have to help your mom get rid of you.”

 

And Zoogie teleported Zeb into the human world.  And Zoogie put a shield around the world so Zeb couldn’t get out, ever. 

 

 

Chapter 19

Zeb Gets a Fever to Stay away from School

 

 

So, Zeb was back at home.  He said, “I haven’t had rat sandwich for a while.” 

 

And Zeb said, “Gwen, can I have rat sandwich?”

 

And Gwen said “Ohh, kayy!!!”

 

Zeb said, “Well then where are the rats?”

 

Gwen said, “We have to find them.”

 

Zeb said, “I see five, on my head.”

 

Gwen said, “We still need to find more.  This is not enough…..”

 

And Gwen said, “ I see one up my ass with a piece of glass!”

 

And Zeb said, “I see one up my butt with a coconut.”

 

And then Gwen said, “I see one down your throat with a billy goat.”

 

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!  There is no billy goat down my throat,” said Zeb.

 

And Zeb got angry and killed himself.

 

And Zeb said “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.  Just kidding, I’m really living!!  If I tricked you, Ben or Zeb, who cares, because I’m not really living, I’m just in a story, called Teleports.  And you’re the real living thing.  Yeah, Ben, you’re typing it in right now!  But I don’t care, because I think this is sort of like real life here in this story.  You should come in.”

 

So, Zeb went in the story to see Zeb.  But Zeb got a fever.  So Zeb went to school, while Zeb stayed home.

 

And one Zeb had to go to school; the other Zeb had to do the homework.  But then, when Zeb was all better, they switched jobs – the other Zeb did the homework, and the Zeb that had had the fever, went to school.  

 

But I am semantics, primes and universals, rats on sandwiches, poop pizza, pee salami, onion toilet paper sundae, I like Wierzbicka especially when she bites my mommy’s ampit.   Mommy eating my ampit while I sucking her tit off and she keeping her tit.  Mommy said googie foogie love bagooby.  And I said, dad’s girl boy, go to your room mommy.  Me go to the beach but me not want to go to the beach so me stayed home and eated my butt off.  Me not going psychotic!!  Me being very smart!!  Me hungry for poopoo!  Last night me eated poopoo so this night me did too.

 

Then next day me be’d a coprophiliac.  And  me eated poopy the whole day, getting all covered in mud and poop.

 

Haweeyaweekow!  Ahhh, wikki wikkiw woooky, a foovy goovy boogy doody, voogy lalalalalalalalallalalalal guh guh guh guh guh guh lalalalalalalalalallalalalalalalalallalal ha hahahahaha hahaha lalallalala hahahalalaha lalalalaha lala ha hee hee

 

Now what’s all this nonsense story about?  It’s about YUM YUM POOPY!

 

Kwuh!  They were all killed!!!

 

And they lived happily ever after.

 

I mean, this book says, they died happily ever after.

 

Because, they’re not living so how did they live happily after?

 

I know how, but I’m not telling you. 

 

Hey you moron, I’ll beat you up if you don’t tell me!

 

OK, let’s have a fight over this!!

 

OK, punch punch POW POW!

 

Claykoo, quaykoo.  Aaaaooooow.  I’m gonna get you for that!

 

Punch punch, kick!

 

Bite.

 

 

Chapter 20

Wah

 

 

Zeb and Zeb both got hurt so much that they cried.

 

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

 

 

Chapter 21

I’m reading a book called Chapter 21

 

 

Zeb said “I’m reading a book!  And it’s called Chapter One!”

 

Zeb said, “I’m reading a book.  It’s called Chapter Twenty-one!”

 

And then Zeb said, “Well, I’m reading a better book called Chapter Twenty-one than that Chapter Twenty-one."

 

Death came on toes of jello.  “Yeah, that book’s dumb,” said Zeb.

 

“No it’s not dumb, it’s cool!  It came on toes of jello!”

 

Grrrr, grrrr, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

 

Bad guy bad guy bad guy.

 

Bad bye bad bye bad buy

 

Poopoop bikky butt

 

Bik butt bik butt

 

Butt butt butt

 

“That is a nonsense Chapter 21 book,” said Zeb.

 

 

 

Chapter 21 and a Half

Zade’s Eating and Getting Big

 

 

Zade came into Zeb’s bedroom.  Zade said, “Who is Zeb?  Where is Zeb?”

 

“Here,” said Zeb. 

 

“No, here,” said Zeb.

 

“No, here,” said Zeb.

 

“No, here,” said Zeb.

 

“Ok, both of us are Zebs.”

 

“Eat, eat, eat, it’s lunchtime,” said Zade.

 

“We’re eating butts from hell,” said Gwen.

 

Ben said, “We’re eating fried monkey head stew, too.”

 

“Waaaaaaaaaah!!  I don’t want to eat that!” said Zeb.

 

Zade ate 24 bowls.  The glass part was the best.  Then she ate the food.  And she grew giant.  And she RIPPED up the house.  She tore down the city.  She stomped the whole world to bits. 

 

And then Zade said, “I have to go potty.”  So she pottied outside.  And she said, “I need toilet paper!”

 

So she used a rake instead.

 

And she peed and wiped with a different rake.

 

And she said, “Good day, that was a great day.”

 

And Zade said, “I’m playing my Pokemon game, and I’m Squirrely-dot.”

 

 

Chapter 22

Zade Plays Her Pokemon Game

 

 

Zade said, “I want to play my Pokemon game!”

 

Agiy said “I want to play real Pokemon!”

 

Zeb said, “I want to play a Pokemon game!”

 

Gwen said, “I want to play a Pokemon game!”

 

Ben said, “I hate Pokemon game!   I like doing work!”

 

Zeb said, “But work is stupid dumb moronic dumb stuff.  It’s deroturesderfingyop.”

 

“Nuts to your butts,” said Zade.

 

“Lutts to your guts,” said Zeb.

 

“Hens to your pens,” said Ben.

 

“Hens to your pens,” said Gwens.   Eight Gwens.

 

“Car to the tar,” said Zar.

 

“Enough nonsense!  It’s my birthday!  You forgot,” said Zade.

 

“Let’s play a Pokemon game,” said Zade.  “I am Pokemon Trainer Zade!”

 

And Zade turned into Pokemon Trainer Zade.

 

Zeb said, “I’m gonna turn into Pokemon Trainer Zeb, said Zeb.”

 

Gwen said, “I’m gonna be Gym Leader Sabrina.”

 

“I am the Gym Leader Clair,” said Ben.

 

And Zar said, “I’m Gary, the bad guy.”

 

And Zar turned into Pokemon Trainer Zar.

 

 

Chapter 23

The Pokemon League Challenge

 

 

Yeah!  

 

 

Chapter 24

Morons from Hell

 

 

Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell. 

Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell. 

Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell. 


Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from well.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell. 

Morons from smell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell. 

Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell. 

Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell. 

Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell. 

Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell. 

 

Zeb said,  “Flangaroombia.”

 

Zade said, “Ficky butt.”

 

Zar said, “I’m gonna kill your ass.”

 

And then a chinchilla came and said, “You’re not playing the Pokemon game.  You’re in costumes.”

 

“You’re not really a chinchilla,” said Zar.  “You’re in a suit.”

 

“No I’m not.  Pull my suit off if you think I’m in a suit.’

 

“Ouuuuccchhh!!” screamed the chinchilla.  “That hurts.  Now let me check if you have a costume, I’ll pull it off, if you have a costume.”

 

The chinchilla pulled everything off of everyone.  And he said, “Huh.  You are in suits.”

 

“You figured out our secret,” said Zade.  “I’ll have to kill you.”   And in her game, she killed the chinchilla.

 

And then the chinchilla took off his suit.  

 

“See.  You were holding onto your suit,” said Ben.

 

“But I am a chinchilla.  In a chinchilla suit.”

 

“And look, you were in costumes of people.  So who care if we have our costumes on?” said the chinchilla. 

 

And everyone put their suits back on.  And got toy Pokeballs, with robot Pokemons. 

Chapter 25

 

Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter Chapter

 

 

Chapter 26

Dungeon of Tony-Sam’s Dueling Dumas Dead Dream in the Drain

 

 

They fell in a dungeon.   More of Chapter 26. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Morons from hell.  Morons from bell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell. 

Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell. 

Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell.  Morons from hell. 

 

 

Chapter 25

No More Nonsense

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 26

The New Chapter

 

 

 

And then they all just turned invisible.

 

And time and life went back to normal.

 

The end.